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I consider this another foundational episode before we start getting into guest interviews and other topics that might ruffle feathers, seem “outside the box,” or “woo woo.”
Be sure to check out “Show Notes & Shoutouts” at the bottom of this post to see scripts and questions to ask when someone says something that floors you. I meant to talk about it in the podcast recording but forgot. Thanks for your patience, this is such a HUGE learning curve for me.
From my heart to yours,
H.
Summary
In this episode, Dr. Haunani explores the complexities of uncomfortable conversations, emphasizing the importance of understanding our nervous system's responses and the need for creating brave spaces for dialogue. She introduces frameworks for better arguments and practical tips for engaging in uncomfortable conversations, highlighting the significance of self-awareness and compassion in communication. The discussion encourages listeners to transform their patterns of interaction and embrace vulnerability in their conversations.
Takeaways
Uncomfortable conversations can evoke strong emotional responses.
Our nervous system cannot differentiate between real and perceived threats.
Creating brave spaces is essential for holding space, redistributing power and hierarchy, and can transform your clinical practice.
Practice makes patterns, not perfection.
Embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections.
Transforming communication patterns takes time and effort.
Engaging in uncomfortable conversations is a practice that can be developed.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Uncomfortable Conversations
03:09 Understanding the Nervous System's Response
06:17 The Importance of Self-Accountability
08:54 Pointing the Finger: A Reflection on Responsibility
12:03 Cultural Sensitivity in Conversations
15:09 Frameworks for Engaging in Discomfort
18:09 Brave Space vs. Safe Space
20:49 The Concept of Brave Space
24:07 Invitation to Brave Space
30:57 Creating Brave Spaces vs. Safe Spaces
37:14 Frameworks for Better Conversations
45:54 Practicing Uncomfortable Conversations
01:01:25 Transforming Patterns in Conversations
Show Notes & Shoutouts
Arao, Brian Clemens, Kristi - From-Safe-Spaces-To-Brave-Spaces | PDF
Policy_and_Practice_No_2_Safe_Brave_Spaces.pdf
Poem by Beth Strano “Untitled” about Brave Space
William & Mary - this podcast is not associated or sponsored with W&M. You’ll just hear me bring it up a lot because I currently work there as their Licensed Acupuncturist.
Four Agreements with Don Miguel Ruiz
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
Uncomfortable conversations with Joshua Szeps
Here are two scripts I forgot to cover in this episode. I find these questions and responses VERY useful when someone says something shocking.
Restate what they said in a question and out of curiosity: “Did I hear you correctly? Did you just say __{insert what you heard}_________.” Then be silent. Look at them confused but intrigued. Really, stay silent. Let them respond. You can use these same questions again and again until you find clarity, or they do.
Here is a same-same-but-different inquiry: “That’s interesting you said that because I see it differently. Can you explain more about _____[their stance, opinion, their words]_________?”
Transcript
You can find the transcript and closed caption of today’s episode at the top of this post. Look to the right of the thumbs-up and comment icons.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND SUPPORT. This whole podcasting thing is very new to me. As a one-person team, I’m using automated transcript notes for the time being. My sincere apologies and I hope it doesn’t take away from the content. If it does, please send me a kind email or message and I’ll do my best within reason.
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